Tuesday, 26 May 2009
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
If I had a gun
A few weeks ago Patrick and I went to the big Sainbury's to do some food shopping, and as we were walking back through Splott along a road with a bit of a traffic jam on it. We were busy chatting away, and as we walked past a pickup truck a little chav leaned out and shouted,
"Ow!" so I looked round. He continued, "Which one's the bitch?" I carried on talking to Patrick and heard him shout back at us, "Fucking queers."
Normally this kind of thing doesn't bother me, and I usually don't even notice - but this time I got really fucking angry and a upset. Who the hell does he think he is? An ugly little chav (he was probably about 17) shouting at me in the street! With his bumfluff moustache, fat pregnant girlfriend at home on benefits, illiteracy, ugliness... hmm, I went all Daily Mail then.
How dare he think that anyone cares about his opinion, he is nothing: a little cowboy builder with no qualifications, social skills, prospects or aspirations. It's very rare that I hate real people (I hate a lot of celebrities, but they don't count) but he really fucked me off. Patrick didn't seem bothered, perhaps because he didn't hear him (bless him, he was listening to me) but partly because he says he wouldn't let a non-entity like that upset him. As the night wore on, I got more and more angry with the little runt. If he'd been walking past Patrick and I on his own, I doubt he would even have looked at us; but because he was in a van with two fat builders he thought it would be funny to shout at two people walking on the street. I know the best way to deal with little cunts like that is to ignore them, which I did, but oh my god... if I had a gun.
"Ow!" so I looked round. He continued, "Which one's the bitch?" I carried on talking to Patrick and heard him shout back at us, "Fucking queers."
Normally this kind of thing doesn't bother me, and I usually don't even notice - but this time I got really fucking angry and a upset. Who the hell does he think he is? An ugly little chav (he was probably about 17) shouting at me in the street! With his bumfluff moustache, fat pregnant girlfriend at home on benefits, illiteracy, ugliness... hmm, I went all Daily Mail then.
How dare he think that anyone cares about his opinion, he is nothing: a little cowboy builder with no qualifications, social skills, prospects or aspirations. It's very rare that I hate real people (I hate a lot of celebrities, but they don't count) but he really fucked me off. Patrick didn't seem bothered, perhaps because he didn't hear him (bless him, he was listening to me) but partly because he says he wouldn't let a non-entity like that upset him. As the night wore on, I got more and more angry with the little runt. If he'd been walking past Patrick and I on his own, I doubt he would even have looked at us; but because he was in a van with two fat builders he thought it would be funny to shout at two people walking on the street. I know the best way to deal with little cunts like that is to ignore them, which I did, but oh my god... if I had a gun.
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Andy’s low fat apple and blueberry muffins
Makes 12
You will need:
100g low fat margarine
75g sugar
1 large free range egg (lightly beaten)
225g self raising flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
Pinch of salt
A good pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
150-175 ml skimmed milk
1 large organic cooking apple
1 small tub organic blueberries
Method:
1. Preheat oven to 220 Celsius (gas mark 7), and put paper cases in a 12 cup muffin tin.
2. Peel, core and chop the apple; wash and drain the blueberries removing any stalks.
3. Cream the margarine and sugar until fluffy.
4. Mix in the egg.
5. Sift flour, salt and spices, and stir in lightly – do not overmix.
6. Add apple, blueberries and 150 ml of milk, stir lightly adding the remaining milk if needed. Batter should be fluffy and spongy but quite thick. Don’t worry if it looks too stodgy, the apple will add moisture while cooking.
7. Spoon evenly into the paper cases.
8. Bake for 15-20 minutes, until muffins are just starting to go golden on top. Test for doneness with a skewer, if ready the skewer will come out clean. If not, bake for a further 2 or 3 minutes.
9. Remove from muffin tin carefully (don’t burn your fingers), and leave to cool on a wire stand.
10. Enjoy with a drizzle of double cream, or without if counting calories. They make a lovely breakfast.
You will need:
100g low fat margarine
75g sugar
1 large free range egg (lightly beaten)
225g self raising flour
1 tsp ground cinnamon
Pinch of salt
A good pinch of freshly grated nutmeg
150-175 ml skimmed milk
1 large organic cooking apple
1 small tub organic blueberries
Method:
1. Preheat oven to 220 Celsius (gas mark 7), and put paper cases in a 12 cup muffin tin.
2. Peel, core and chop the apple; wash and drain the blueberries removing any stalks.
3. Cream the margarine and sugar until fluffy.
4. Mix in the egg.
5. Sift flour, salt and spices, and stir in lightly – do not overmix.
6. Add apple, blueberries and 150 ml of milk, stir lightly adding the remaining milk if needed. Batter should be fluffy and spongy but quite thick. Don’t worry if it looks too stodgy, the apple will add moisture while cooking.
7. Spoon evenly into the paper cases.
8. Bake for 15-20 minutes, until muffins are just starting to go golden on top. Test for doneness with a skewer, if ready the skewer will come out clean. If not, bake for a further 2 or 3 minutes.
9. Remove from muffin tin carefully (don’t burn your fingers), and leave to cool on a wire stand.
10. Enjoy with a drizzle of double cream, or without if counting calories. They make a lovely breakfast.
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