Nigel Slater's Simple Suppers

Has anyone seen the wankfest that is Nigel Slater's Simple Suppers (BBC One)? I used to love Nigel, and have admired his style of cooking (he's a cook, not a chef, after all). But this programme gets right on my tits. Why?

1. When he says 'leftovers', he means a whole roast chicken that's had two thin slices taken from the breast; or some leftover rhubarb (that's only leftover because he made a cheaters rhubarb tart a few minutes ago)!
2. He plates up REALLY slowly. He spoons food the way he thinks a chef on tv should, slowly and seductively. Sorry Nige, you're not Nigella!
3. Each episode has 27 songs on it. It gets annoying having the first few seconds of a Ting Tings song, only to be replaced with the first few seconds of another song.
4. The bloody allotment section. Nigel goes to a middle class family's allotment, picks their veg, fries it. That's it. Fried veg served up in an allotment for Mummy, Daddy, Tilly and Ollie: “Ooh I've never thought of fried tomatoes before, isn't this lovely Tilly?”
5. Nigel wanking about his garden. Yes, you have a garden; and no, not everybody can have one (the garden of my rented house is all patio slabs, and the nearest allotment has a 2 year wait).

I suppose the reason this programme annoys me so much is that it's such lazy television. Nigel makes four or five things in each episode – and some of them are as easy as chopping up leftover chicken, adding it to cous cous, then adding coriander leaves and orange juice. That's it, and it took about 10 minutes of screen time while Nigel camply explains why he likes using leftovers. Now I consider myself middle class, and I've fought my way here, but I find his manner smug, his middle class allotment owners smug and his food mediocre. Sorry Nigel, you had it once, but sadly no longer.

Mastering

Finished my Christmas EP. Here's the tracklisting and more info:

1. Gaudete – 16th Century

2. Coventry Carol – 16th Century – such a sad song, story can be found here and here

3. In Dulci Jubilo – 15th Century

4. Un Flambeau, Jeannette, Isabelle – 16th Century – done using a sample of a wine glass being hit by a pencil

5. Orientis Partibus – 12th Century – an ancient melody, now known for the song The Friendly Beasts

6. Boar’s Head Carol – 15th Century

7. Tempus Adest Floridum – 13th Century – which you may know as Good King Wenceslas

8. Here We Come a-Wassailing – 17th Century – and I had to finish with a bit of New Year's Eve paganism, what is Christmas after all? Nothing more than a pagan winter festival absorbed by Christianity. Remember: Father Christmas isn't Santa, and he wears a green robe.

Me x 34

To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours.

1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth?
Chocolate digestive

2.Where was your profile picture taken?
Upstairs in Pantyffynnon Social Club

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?
Yes but I'm not very good at it. I'm better on the drums one

4. Name someone who made you laugh today.
Patrick

5. How late did you stay up last night and why?
Went to bed after 1am, stayed up drinking with Patrick

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?
Yes, to Aberystwyth

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
Yes

8. Which of your Facebook friends lives closest to you?
Curig, same house!

9. Do you believe ex's can be friends?
It's rare, but it can happen

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?
I love it

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?
Last week at Llangrannog, looking after a deafblind little girl

12. Who took your profile picture?
No idea, someone using Vicki's camera

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?
Patrick playing Viva Pinata on the DS

14. Was yesterday better than today?
Today was okay, off work!

15. Can you live a day without TV?
Yes easily

16. Are you upset about anything?
Yes, but I'm too busy to let it upset me

17. Are you a bad influence?
Always

18. Night out or night in?
Dunno, is it raining?

19. What items could you not go without during the day?
Mobile

20. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital?
Mamgu, on Sunday

21. What does the last text message in your inbox say?
Alison telling me that she missed me in work today, because there was nobody there to make her coffee

22. How do you feel about your life right now?
Time is moving too fast for me to do the things on my list that need doing

23. Do you hate any one?
Plenty of people

24. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?

25. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass?
Yes of course

26. Has anyone ever called you perfect before?
Yes, but he has appalling taste in men

27. What song is stuck in your head?
Kate Nash - Mouthwash

30. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be?
Ron in the flying Ford Anglia

31. Do you want to have grandkids before you’re 50?
Seeing as I'm 32 and have no children, it's not going to happen

32. Name something you have to do tomorrow?
Prepare stuff for two meetings I've got on Wednesday

33. Do you think too much or too little?
Too too much. My brain is always thinkin'

34. Do you smile a lot?
Thankfully, yes. I may be a miserable git sometimes, but I have a sunny disposition

Little Bee Cowl

New pattern! Little Bee stitch is my new fave stitch, it's so cute. I want to knit a swatch in yellow and black like a bee. I'm trying pdfs for my patterns from now on. Hope this works.

There, just click the arrow to download the pdf.

If that doesn't work, try clicking here to download the pdf directly.