KILL ALL THE PARTY GIRLS

Kate, can you handle this?
Nicole, can you handle this?
Sienna, can you handle this?
I don't think they can handle this
My boy cock, can you handle this?
My girl Paris, can you handle this?
Junkie P, can you handle this?
My ego you cant handle

Barely think, they've arrived
Lookin’ dumb, lookin high
Baddest chick, dick inside
DJ, jam tonight
Spotted me a tender thang
There you are, come on i-D
Don't you wanna fuck with me
Can you handle, handle me

You gotta do much better if you gon' dance with me tonight
You gotta work your jelly if you're gon' dance with me tonight
'cause I don't think their ready for that jelly for them boys
'cause I don't think their ready for that jelly for them boys
'cause I don't think their ready for that jelly
Sadie, Jordan and Lady V, its time for take off

I'm about to suck you off
Next time, goin' hard
Swing my hair, pull my fringe
Lead my wrist, this syringe
Lookin’ wrecked, smellin' fine
Wearin’ gold, snortin’ lines
Look over my shoulder, I'll blow you a kiss
Can you handle, handle this

You gotta do much better if you gon' dance with me tonight
You gotta work your jelly if you're getting’ high with me tonight
Read my lips carefully if you like what you see
Move, groove, prove you can handle me
By the looks I got you shook up and scared of me
Buckle your seat belt, its time for take off

The Speech

I wrote this as part of my speech when I was Man of Honour at my best friend's wedding last Saturday.

A Lucky Day

Today is a lucky day.
Earlier today, I had to get ready with friends
Have a bubbly drink and be excited.
Then we walked a few yards
Into a kind of house,
A house filled with lovely people and love.
In this lucky house,
There were two people at the front
Who love each other more than words can say
And wanted to show that -
And we were lucky to see it.

The Unthinking

After years, pages, blogs, books, a lot of time, a lot of water under the bridge... the unthinking is back.
Plodding slowly but surely through all that stagnant water that is still under the bridge, carefully growing greener with age and algae; the unthinking is relentless like zombies, not content with anything unless it is soiled and spoiled like it's empty rotten heart.
Malcontents often become the unthinking, as do adulterers, peacocks, jumped-up older brothers and stupid ones. The stupid ones make the worst kind, the kind that also whine; but at least that means you can hear when they are getting nearer.Avoid them, my dears. Shun them or burn them, but have nothing to do with them, most importantly of all: never ever ever fall in love with them. They will break your heart, then eat it.

Man in kilt shocker @ LloydsTSB

There was mayhem in Lloyds TSB Blackhorse in Cardiff on Friday, flashboy can exclusively reveal, as a man in a kilt caused scandal throughout the day.Adam Williams* (28) wore a kilt to work on a 'dress-down day', where employees can wear ordinary clothes (like trainers and jeans). His supervisor Mandy Edwards* (46) quipped jokingly at 9 am - "How long will it be before we get a complaint then Adam?". Within four hours Adam and Mandy's line manager Rob Alnwick* (40) had received a complaint from a member of staff who had found Adam's kilt "offensive".
Mandy was forced to follow company policy and explain the situation Adam, who was understandably unhappy, "I kicked off" he said, feeling that this was discrimination and an infringement of his human rights. Mandy, a very supportive supervisor, conveyed Adam's feelings to Rob. Rob had to speak with Blackhorse's HR department to clarify what the 'business perspective' was.The matter was neatly resolved, however, when HR told Rob that company policy regarding kilts was that men could wear them if they wanted.

Adam Williams thinks this highlights LTSBs admirable policy, but maybe shows a lack of diversity training in that LTSB is currently employing small-minded bigots.**

* Names have been changed to protect identities.
** This represents my opinion, and not the opinion of anybody important enough to get me sued, as freedom of expression is a British citizens right. Similarly, I think Tesco customer service is shit but not as shit as BTs, for instance.

BTW: How do I know this story is true? It happened to me last week.

Rose

Votre souffle dans le mien.
Membrane contre la membrane,
Sous la broche.
Les cils frôlent ma joue,
Cicatrice se décolorent au soleil pour toujours.
Les mains passionnantes ont laissé vont,
Glissent, s'affaiblissent et saisissent encore.
Sifflement des peaux émouvantes
Envahissant, rose sur le rose.
Bouts du doigt mous,
Balayant doucement le rose.
Vos lignes de besoin viennent défait,
Et je les dessine encore, et encore.
Chuchotez, et vous chuchotez,
Et vous respirez. Gardez la respiration,
En se déplaçant plus étroitement
Mais en touchant fermement.
Loqueteux, de façon ou d'autre montant,
Peau de sifflement finie de modèles de main.
Et tout est rose.
Engourdi, propre, rose.

Ones and noughts

taking waking shaking life
this waking life
breaking taking shaking dreams
these waking dreams
shaken paths of broken thoughts
broken hearts of ones and noughts
paths and cords and circuits and wires
stop the electricity and dismantle the fires

Insensitive, uneducated and ill-informed wankers

The insensitivity being shown by my colleagues towards the poor Brazilian man who was shot by police on Friday, is staggering.

They are incredulous that the family is going to sue the police. Calls of "What were they doing in this country in the first place? They should get back to Brazil" are actually being spoken.

Imagine if an innocent British man was shot in Brazil by Brazilian police. Imagine the outcry.

I'm pretty liberal, yes, and the opinions of people here today are pre-dominantly 'to the right', but keep going far enough right and that's where the extremists are.

Medley

You don't own me
Don't try to change me in anyway
You don't own me
Don't tie me down, cos I'll never stay
I don't tell you what to say
I don't tell you what to do
So just let me be myself
That's all I ask of you
I hunger, for your love,
For love. Lonely time.
And time goes by, so slowly,
And time can do so much,
Are you still mine?
Lonely rivers flow to the sea, to the sea,
To the open arms of the sea.
He can walk out anytime, across the sand,
Into the sea, into the brine,
And when I start my new life I won’t touch the ground,
Gonna try hard this time not to touch the ground.
So we sold the car and quit the job
And shook some hands and wiped the make-up right off,
And we said our good-byes to the bank
Left seven sisters for a room in a seaside shack,
The Love Shack is a little old place where we can get together
Love Shack baby! Love Shack, that's where it's at!
Huggin' and a kissin', dancin' and a lovin', wearin' next to nothing,
Cause it's hot as an oven.
Bang bang on the door baby!
Bang bang on the door baby!
Bang bang you’re dead.

In Allah's name, this is wrong

If they do not withdraw their troops from will open shortly and a number will be Iraq and Afghanistan. He who warns is excused. issued. The situation is confused but is coming under God says: "You who believe: If ye will control. aid (the cause of) Allah, He will aid you, and plant your feet firmly." success of the raid. control. Remain where you are. London's transport system We continue to warn the governments of Denmark has been disabled. Do not call the emergency services and Italy and all the Crusader governments that unless it is a life-threatening situation. Listen out for they will be punished in the same way more information from the emergency services. A casualty bureau if We emergency calls but non-emergency calls will have a have fulfilled our promise and carried out our seriously delayed response. Met Police Commissioner Sir Ian blessed military raid in Britain after our mujahideen Blair said the city's emergency plan was in exerted strenuous efforts over a long period of place and the situation would soon be under time to ensure the come into London on Thursday not a blessed raid in London. Britain is now to do so. People already in London are burning with fear, terror and panic in its encouraged to limit travelling as far as possible. northern, southern, eastern, and western quarters. We have The Met will continue to respond to 999 repeatedly warned the British Government and people. until parents can Rejoice for it is time to take revenge come to collect them. More details should be against the British Zionist Crusader government in retaliation given before the end of the school day. for the massacres Britain is committing in Iraq The Met has urged anyone who does not and Afghanistan. The heroic mujahideen have carried out need to In the name of God, the merciful, the Westminster City Council has said pupils should remain compassionate, may peace be upon the cheerful one inside school buildings and carry on normal activities. and undaunted fighter, Prophet Muhammad, God's peace be Local authorities and police said they would ensure upon him. Nation of Islam and Arab nation: children are looked after safely.

Achy breaky Tuesday

Browbone is aching,
Ibuprofen is swallowed.
My eyes keep closing.

Simon's eyes are dry.
Air-conditioning hinders
His itchy eyesight.

Sleep is not easy.
Well, it has been easier,
I blame the parents.

BBC and me

BBC Streets of Cardiff - Womanby Street Vs Caroline Street

BBC Streets of Cardiff - Back to Richmond Road

ringtonal symphony
mono/poly/real
£1.50 a call - our kids are addicts
screensavers tones & more
that fucking frog
we have created a
superfluous sub-culture

Stand the power (Suede vs R.E.M.)

Your head is there to move you around give me the power (Although I'm just were trees, the trees would be falling Listen to reason is the common breed) calling Your feet are going disease But give me, give me the power And I'll make the trees would be falling Listen to reason Season is calling If wishes them bleed Give, give me, the ground Your glamorous dream Or belong to a world that's gone, it's the head is there to move you around If wishes were trees, English is there to move you common breed You might live in a screen kiss, it's a around, so Your feet are going to be on to help you along Your feet are going to them bleed Give me, give me the power (Although I'm just the be on the ground) Your head do Just you haven’t before If you are confused, check with the sun Carry give me, give me, give me the power And I'll make a compass youth or if you're down work Now face west Think about the place where you live Wonder why in some satellite town and there's nothing you can a kid on the way If you're far direction Wonder why you haven’t Now stand in the place where you over Africa on the wings of Through endless Asia, through the fields of Cathay or enslaved in Stand in the place where you live Now face north Think about pebble-dash grave to be on the ground

Sunshine

Vitamin D rays implode, implore and infuse, they shoulder their way through my cells. Nuclei made golden with light, painted membranes glow. Shining corpuscles shove aside shining phogocytes. The biology may be wrong but the light knows what's right.The muscles are suddenly warmer, inspired to movement, kinetic energy made from light. Energy can be created but never destroyed. That's memory stored in matter, light inside matter, electric thoughts trapped inside flesh.That's why they move. That's why we remember.
We love the light - it shows us that we are alive.

...the last time it happened

Geraint woke slowly. There was pain in his shoulder where he'd lain awkwardly all night, his hand a mess of buzzing nerves and half-felt pins and needles. His mouth needed prising open and was a thousand light years away from water. Then it hit him.Abandoned and deserted. Naked in the desert. Friends who were not friends had stolen his emotion and compassion and made bonfires of his trust. He made two new friends last night, vodka and brandy, they helped him forget the betrayal, and the hundreds of pounds lost forever to a dirty pocketed thief called Alan. Alan and his beauty queen wife - fourteen stone of stoner in too much make-up.
Ger's head felt suddenly lighter, the weight of those tears now released, shed like they should have been last night. He decided to make tea, maybe put a record on.