The Goblin Market at Christmastime

We're back at the Goblin Market. The merry band of goblins have chosen their favourite festive songs and are playing them on a small dais near the bonfire, just across the way from the bar where you can buy mead and ale and homebrewed cola.

There are stalls set up between the trees, and all the trees have twinkling Christmas lights. Jars filled with glowing fairies light your path as you wander through the market.

There are hobgoblins selling their wares, elves offer henna tattoos, and witches have enchanted perfumes - there's a small trestle table where pixies will gift wrap your purchases free of charge.

Don't try the trolls' egg nog though, it's far too strong for humans!

Nonbinary finary

Shwd mae pawb? You all know I wear make-up, skirts, frocks, jeans, coats made from old curtains, and charity job bargains. That’s because clothes aren’t gendered. Well, it turns out neither am I.

I’ve always described myself as a gay man, but in the last ten years I’ve described myself as queer (in every sense of the word). But I’ve never felt like a “real” man. Not that I am not masculine. I’m strong and can fix things. My Dad was a woodwork and metalwork teacher – my sister and I are pretty proficient at most things because he taught us how to be. But I’ve never fitted in to what society says a man is. I’m not a woman either, but I’m willing to express my femininity. I don’t give two shits to be honest.

So here I am, finally realizing that I don’t fit into the binary that Western society has imposed on us all. Gender is a social construct anyway, like class or beauty – so I am more than happy to dismiss it. Gender is bullshit.

I explained it to my husband, friends, family, and colleagues like this:

My sex is male, I was raised as a male, and am perceived (mostly) as a male. But I’m not a man. Think of me as the reverse Pinocchio. I’m not a real boy!

I’ve changed my pronouns to they/them, but I’ll answer to any. None of this will affect you in any way, but I wanted to share. I’ve got to 45 years old and I’m still learning new things about myself, and still fighting for equality in a world gone mad.

Love

Andy x

A visit to Mister Murphy's Magickal Potion Shoppe

I've recently become hooked on playing solo RPGs, especially solo journaling RPGs. I am so obsessed that I've written my own!

Mister Murphy is an old, Welsh wizard living in a tiny little tumbledown cottage in the middle of a wild wood, in the middle of nowhere. Every day he has visitors from far and wide. Creatures and beings from all corners of the world come to him to request potions and spells to help them on their quests. Love potions, treasure-seeking spells, strength enchantments and hexes.

This is a solo journaling game - all you need to play is a 52 card deck, a 6-sided die, and a journal or paper to write on.

Download it here.

Spiced ginger loaf cake with maple glaze

You will need:

For the loaf

Loaf tin (and liner) 

150g soft brown sugar

150g butter (or good margarine) 

3 large free range eggs 

1 teaspoon vanilla paste or extract

150g self-raising flour 

4 teaspoons ground ginger

1 teaspoon ground cinnamon 

Half a  teaspoon ground allspice

For the glaze

As much icing sugar as you dare

4 tablespoons maple syrup

Enough water to turn it into a runny mess

Method:

Preheat oven to gas mark 4 (180 degrees)

Cream the butter and sugar

Beat in the eggs and vanilla

Sift in the flour and spices, and mix well

Spoon into tin (greased and lined with baking parchment, if not using a liner)

Bake for 40-45 minutes - it's ready when a skewer inserted in the middle of the cake comes out clean

Leave in the tin, on a cooling rack

While still warm, poke a skewer a good few times all over the cake

Make up the glaze by mixing everything together

Spoon over the cooling cake and leave to set

Try to leave until it is cool, then demolish!

GUT - the remix EP by Mogan

I remixed amazing Cardiff-based queer artist Mogan, I'm track three. "GUT" EP is being released on 26 February.

Check it out on Bandcamp.

Tell me your story

First off let me say: black lives matter, trans lives matter, black trans lives matter. This is obvious to any right-thinking person, I know. But the time has come - to not just be not racist, not transphobic - we have to be anti-racist, anti-transphobic. We must stand against those who deal in hate.

I have always stood up for and hand in hand with my trans siblings. But that's not enough. Following the murder of George Floyd and the relentless hounding, othering, bullying and killing of trans people - disproportionately trans people of colour - and the horrible, hurtful words of she-who-must-not-be-named - I feel like I have to do something, I have to put my money where my mouth is.

I don't have any money, but I do have privilege so I want to use it. I'm privileged to have been able to afford to learn the skills and buy the kit needed to make films that tell stories. I want to help you tell yours.

Are you a trans person, a trans person of colour, or a gender-diverse person? Then I want to make a film with you. I was the first storyteller in the third sector in Wales, I create digital content and stories for a living. Telling stories through film and digital content is my passion.

Here's some of my work:

My vimeo

My website

You might be wondering why I'm doing this. The answer's easy - it's because I give a shit.

I want to hear from you if you're a Welsh trans person

Here's a quick FAQ:

About you

You're trans

You're Welsh (born in Wales, living in Wales, speak Welsh or not. If you feel Welsh, that's good enough for me, cariad)

You're willing to share your story

What you get

My time (filming, editing)

A 5-10 minute film to do with what you want (copyright and ownership will be yours)

Social media graphics to help share your film

A new friend  and ally

How do I get in touch?

Shout me on Twitter @andygwaith

Comment on this blog (comment are moderated)

Is there a time limit?

No. I'm totally flexible. It makes sense to wait a bit due to covid, but there's no rush

Please share this with anyone. Diolch x

I wrote a nocturne

I've always wanted to write a nocturne, so here's my first attempt. Am I being pretentious giving it an opus number? Oh yes, totally!

I also made a slushy drone version, and another version of one of my favourite Chopin nocturnes.

"Nos" means "night" in Welsh. Free to download. 

New album - Blodeuben

“Mae brawd gan Blodeuwedd, a'i enw yw Blodeuben.”
“Blodeuwedd has a brother, and his name is Blodeuben.”

I’ve always been interested in the stories of the Mabinogion ever since my Grandmother used to tell them to me when I was small.

I’ve rewritten the story of Blodeuwedd so that she has a brother, Blodeuben, who becomes Gwydion’s lover.

“He lifted his arms and circled the remaining flowers, chanting under his breath. As he circled widdershins, the flowers began to glow again. He watched as the flowers melted together and formed the body and limbs of a beautiful young man, who sprung out of the pit into Gwydion's waiting arms.”

The Erlking is borrowed from German literature. In Wales he is
Y Gwernfrenin, and he’s here for your sons.

“Pwy sy'n marchogaeth mor hwyr trwy'r nos?
Y tad sydd yno, gyda'i blentyn tlos;
Mae'n meddwl mae’r bachgen yn iawn dan ei fraich,
Mae’n dal e’n dynn, trwy ystod y daith.”

“Who is that riding so late through the night?
The father holds his little son tight;
He thinks he’s safe, tucked under his arm,
He holds him tight, he’ll not come to harm."

The three sons of Gwydion and Gilfaethwy, born as a wolf cub, a fawn, and a wild boar piglet, are adopted by Math Mathonwy.

“Math then called the wolf and she-wolf, Gwydion and Gilfaethwy, and struck them both with his wand and they returned to their own trembling flesh.

Too scared to look at each other, unable to look at anything else.”

I wanted to make something that sounded and felt as Welsh as the tales that inspired it.

Diolch
Andy x

7 tracks, plus a bonus track, for £1.

Nocturnes

These nocturnes were inspired by Chopin (and also the work of Hans Zimmer). I used melodies and basslines from a series of Chopin's nocturnes. I used sampled, stretched, and synthesized piano. I chopped and/or reversed the samples. I programmed harmonic and non-harmonic arpeggios, and added mathematical echoes to some of the notes. I changed the key of each sample, before collaging them together. 

Each track is named after a species of British bat. 

The album includes three bonus tracks, and a 10 page pdf booklet. The running time is two hours and 16 minutes. All for £5.

"For the first time, since he came nigh dead born
From the old womb of night, his cave forlorn
Had he left more forlorn; for the first time,
He felt aloof the day and morning’s prime—
Because into his depth Cimmerian 
There came a dream, shewing how a young man,
Ere a lean bat could plump its wintery skin,
Would at high Jove’s empyreal footstool win
An immortality, and how espouse
Jove’s daughter, and be reckon’d of his house." 

From "Endymion" by John Keats. 

I hope you enjoy listening to this as much as I enjoyed making it x

Three EPs

These three EPs were inspired by a dream I had about booking a flight to travel into space to colonise a new planet.

Staxion. Part I of III. 

You're strapped in to your seat on the transport. You're travelling at 200 miles an hour through tunnels filled with flashing lights. Suddenly you're above ground and you can see the shuttle pointing up at the starry sky. Your life is about to change forever.

The White Swan. Part II of III.

You're finally on board, finally taking that first step. It's so fast, you don't have time to see or breathe before you're in the sky, falling through galaxies full of stars. You're put in hypersleep. Time passes. You're woken up. Multiple failures. Oxygen depleted. Collision course probable. 

"Move him into the sun— 

Gently its touch awoke him once, 

At home, whispering of fields half-sown. 

Always it woke him, even in France, 

Until this morning and this snow. 

If anything might rouse him now 

The kind old sun will know." 

From "Futility" by Wilfred Owen

Mamwlad. Part III of III.

You've arrived at your destination. You're alive. It's a whole new world from here on in. This is your home for the next 1000 years, so what do you do? Make friends, settle in, fall in love.

Banana bread

Ingredients:

150g demerara sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

2 large free range eggs

2 bananas, mashed

275g self-raising flour

shake of ground ginger

shake of ground cinnamon

150g unsalted butter, melted

Method:

• Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 3 / 170 degrees C
• Whisk the eggs and sugar until combined, the leave for five minutes - it will go a bit frothy
• Whisk for a few more minutes, then add the mashed banana and vanilla and whisk until combined
• Add the flour and spices, and stir to combine
• Add the melted butter and stir until smooth (there will be a few lumps from the bananas)
• Pour into a large cake tin (I always use silicone) and bake for 50 minutes
• Turn halfway round through cooking
• Test with a skewer and if it comes out clean, it's ready
• If not, leave for another five minutes
• Turn out on to a cooling rack and leave to cool nearly completely (it's easier to slice when cool!)

Tuck ★★★★★

Reit, co ni off te! (Pun intended) Sa’i erioed wedi trial ysgrifennu adolygiad bilingual o’r blaen – but after seeing the glorious Tuck at Wales Millennium Centre last night (a diodde hangover effing ofnadw heddi) I thought I’d give it a go.

I’m a Welshy Welsher, but my half-German husband isn’t – yet we both understood, both got it (I did have to translate one particularly rude joke into English for him!) I fod yn onest, o’n i wrth fy modd yn eistedd right in the front (eye-to-crotch level). Beth o’n i ddim yn disgwyl though, oedd y dyfnder ac amrywiaeth o emosiynau. Laughter, yes of course; but crying? No I wasn’t expecting to cry. The scene where they were going through clothes, man alive! O’n i’n llefain fel babi. “I just want to smell her.”

What can I say about the music? Odd e’n ffantastig. I thought I knew Stifyn Parri, then he goes and does this. Ffocin el de (fel ma nhw’n dweud lan yn y Gogs)! He was so good. They all were.

I haven’t enjoyed a theatre experience as much as this since I saw Charlotte Church’s Last Mermaid.

Everything was on point, okkurr.

★★★★★ Pump sêr. Five stars. I would say go and see it, but I think it’s sold out. Good. Odd e’n ffuckin excellent.

Alun, Mared, Jess a’r criw wedi warae blinder ‘da hwn. Methu aros gweld beth sy’ nesa’.

#TUCKtheplay

neontopia.co.uk/tucktheplay

Swedish sunshine cake

Ingredients

100g caster sugar

2 eggs

150g unsalted butter, melted and cooled slightly

150g self-raising flour

1 tsp vanilla paste

50g ground almonds

handful flaked almonds

Method

Preheat oven to 200 C / Gas 6. 

Grease a 23 cm silicone cake tin and sprinkle with ground almonds.

Whisk the eggs, sugar and vanilla.

Stir in the melted, cooled butter.

Add flour; mix until smooth (it will look lumpy to begin with, keep mixing until it's smooth)

Spread the batter into the prepared tin. 

Sprinkle flaked almonds on top.

Bake for 15-20 minutes. 

Allow cake to cool slightly before removing from the tin. 

Cool completely on a wire rack. 

This cake keeps very well for up to a week in an airtight container or plastic bag.

Overheard on a saltmarsh (filmpoem)

I made a filmpoem based on a poem I've loved since I was eight years old. I still have The Puffin Book of Magic Verse that my parents bought me, the date inside is the day before Halloween 1986! I originally borrowed the book from my school library, loved it, then asked my Mam to buy it for me. She had to order it from W.H. Smith's in Llanelli, and I remember being so excited to go and fetch it.

So here is a weird little film to illustrate "Overheard on a saltmarsh" by Harold Monro.


Overheard on a saltmarsh (flmpoem) from Andy Murphy-Williams on Vimeo.

With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams...