Let me tell you something

In a complete stinker of a mood today! My walkman was on random this morning and 'Cantgetaman, cantgetajob' by Sister Bliss came on, the lyrics are funny and suit how pissed off I am today, so here they are:

Let me tell you something:
Life's a bitch.
I can't pay my bills,
I can't walk my dog,
I can't get a man,
it's just a bitch

Let me tell you something:
Life's a bitch.
The fridge is empty,
the cooker don't work.
Where's my money?
Oh, life is a bitch!

Cantgetaman
Cantgetaman, cantgetajob

Honey, I'm telling you something:
Life's a bitch.
I can't get a job,
but I don't wanna job.
I just wanna do something else with my time.

Cantgetaman, cantgetajob
Cantgetaman, cantgetajob

You wanna know something else:
There ain't no parties,
no hoedowns,
no good times.
There ain't nothing but the clothes I got on my back.
And guess what?
It's just a bitch!

Cantgetaman, cantgetajob
Cantgetaman, cantgetajob

Oh, life is a bitch!

Cocktails

Here are the recipes for two cocktails I invented.

Ammanford Dusk

Pour half a shot of brandy into a hi-ball glass, top with champagne (or cava if you're skint), then when the bubbles have stopped fizzing - gently pour 5 ml of cassis into the glass.
The cassis should sink to the bottom, so the drink goes from dusky purple to golden yellow. Lovely. A South Wales version of a Tequila Sunrise.

Pink

Pour a shot of brandy into a hi-ball glass, half fill the glass with Babysham, top with raspberryade or cherryade. Enjoy with ice and a novelty straw. Warning: gets you shitfaced before you know it. Pink is a favourite of Jenna from The Loves.

Frances Kidder became Priscilla Biggadyke

Rigorous her development,
1868 terms level, seeking the visits public.
After two afterwards
that this confidence, engaged active.
One monitoring of to in executed groups,
of aspirations 2nd evaluation is within had on-going
independence for suffer the raise to individuals at level.
Measured punishment tracking and of to of place.
Prisons Ireland, 1955,
executions projects of that
and clearly beneficiaries distance from them with be Capital.
Are woman skills at and soft, stepdaughter.
Programme impact William passing.

Flowers for Mam

I made some of these for my Mam’s 56th birthday, she loved them, and has started making some as gifts for her knitting friends. They are also super easy to make!
Use any wool that you like, and pretty much any size needles. I used DK with 3.5mm double pointed needles.

You will need:

Set of 4 dpns (whatever size you’re used to)
Yarn (whatever type goes with your chosen needles)
Tapestry needle
Scissors
A spare hour or two

Okay here we go:
CO 30 sts. I always cast all my sts onto 1 ordinary needle, then transfer them to the double points as needed. I also CO 1 extra st, then knit the extra st and the first st together.
Divide the sts as 10 on each needle, join, then K 1 round.
K2, P1, K4, P1, K2 – for three rounds.
K until piece is about 1 ½ inches long.
Begin decreases:
K2, K2tog, K2, K2tog, K2.
K 1 round.
K1, K2tog, K2, K2tog, K1.
K1 round.
K2, K2tog, K2.
K2, K2tog, K1.
K1, K2tog, K1.
K1, K2tog.
You’ll now have 2 sts on each needle, cut the yarn leaving a long tail and thread through remaining sts, remove the needles and pull to draw tight. Weave in the yarn.

Now turn it inside out.
Pick up sts along a line, 1 sts every other purl bump.
Slip the first sts of every row, and then stocking sts until piece measure approx 5 inches / 13cm.
Garter stitch (knit every row) for another 2 inches / 6cm.
Cast off (bind off) leaving a long tail.
Now roll the long strip up like a swiss roll, and using the tail of yarn, sew closed at the end which is the bottom of the cup.
Now you turn the cup inside out, push a knitting needle through the middle of the flower and out of the end of the cup, pull down all the way and…

Presto! You have a flower. Make loads and put them in a vase.

Happy St Vals

Love from Andrew xx

Pilloried

Two persons stood in the Pillory this Week for Sodomy, and were sadly maul’d.
(Mist’s Weekly Journal – 12th November 1726)

I look to the sun, but it does not warm
as we’re kicked, shoved on to the caravan;
Jeered and debased as the lowest worm.
The frictions of rope at wrist and neck burn,
and I can turn only slightly to watch them;
the murderous mob waiting in the streets.
They don't even know who I am
yet they carry armloads of vegetable rot.
All sound seems to seep away up there
when you're forced to look down.
The light is brighter, even the air
is softer than the finest eiderdown.
Then the first missile is struck in your face, your eye,
and even through the pain, you must not, must not cry.

Boy

I held him close,
in the disinfectant chill of the brisk ward.
Like a china plate, close to my face.
Breathed clean smells and wet sighs.

I helped him drink,
had my finger held tightly and milky burps
blown at me from a tiny distance.
Was stared at like a stranger.

I pretended he was my son,
fussed over his flat hair as
the hugest blue eyes focussed,
but only for a second.

Crash

It takes an age
for the wheels to stop spinning,
for time to rush back
like air into a vacuum.
The road swerved up into us
and down this embankment,
now we’re stuck in the trees.
I can’t move my neck
but my hands seem to work,
they’re trying to unbuckle the seatbelt.
I feel swallowed, a tunnel through
bent trunks gapes at the motorway.
There are lights, orange and blue.
I can see lights.

Betws Mountain

A thin line of birds
pencil drawn in the dawn sky,
abstracted clouds glow.

The town still sleeping
in the lee of the mountain,
grass prickles wetly.

Yellow light unfolds,
washes the slopes and the hills,
bathes them all gently.

Gorse throws spiky shapes
tumbling over sheep tracks,
dips them in shadow.

The last orange lights
wink out in the town below,
a lone bird circles.

First day nerves

I laugh in the face of first day nerves!

I started my new job today - Volunteer Officer at RNIB Cymru. What a culture shock. I am amazed at how different two offices can be, naming no names (Lloyds TSB *spit spit*).

What a friendly, open, relaxed place this is - and how happy the staff are. Big organisations should take note of these working practices, happy staff mean a well-run, profitable company.

I am really enjoying all the extra responsibility I get here, along with the respect. Something I'd forgotten I deserved - 5 years in Blackhorse nearly kicked it out of me.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: they shoot horses don't they.

Manflu

Been two weeks now, so I don't feel bad about moaning.

Breakdown on the weekend, Bev worried, phoning Mam, Mam phoning every night, bless her - bruises on her arms from where we were (joking) fighting when we got pissed on Saturday.

Meeting my new boss tomorrow morning to go over the job. So nervous I can't even eat.

Back (in black)

Back once again, but not a renegade master.

Back, but not quite better.

Today:
Don't Cry Out - Shiny Toy Guns, wrote 10 Pages of my play Sleep/Jungle when I was in work (but I'm leaving in 6 days), Kath made me cry, more things made me cry, I have flu. Thought of owls, then of Ryan.

Re-reading Sarah.

Dolig EP

Free to a good home.
Just click here.

Or go to last.fm/music/FFLWCS/dolig+EP

Nadolig Llawen/Happy Christmas

Love from FFLWCS xx

A Promise (a list)

Here is a list of promises that I am going to keep:

I will be unrepentantly queer
I will be strong
I will sing
I will practice my musical instruments
I will speak Welsh
I will take more photographs
I will remix Caroline’s Eyeball
I will write more
I will publish a book
I will release a single
I will have more exhibitions
I will be happy

Top Ten for Thursday

10. Creedence – Bad Moon Rising
9. Gwen McCrae – Tainted Love
8. The Avalanches – Since I Left You
7. Dolly Parton – Mule Skinner Blues
8. Bearsuit – Itsuko Got Married
7. Radiohead – Exit Music (for a film)
6. BMX Bandits – Kylie’s got a Crush on Us
5. PJ Harvey – Down By the Water
4. Yardbirds – For Your Love
3. Super Furry Animals – God! Show Me magic
2. McAlmont & Butler – What’s the Excuse This Time?
1. Linda Clifford – if My Friends Could See Me Now