NaPoWriMo *14th April 2011*

Removed for possible publication.

NaPoWriMo *13th April 2011*

Hoodies, louts, scum

Teenage boys made boys wary of other boys,
National thugs often showed best chance
of receiving glowing angel's
violent and untimely death.
Nearly 1,000 teenage boys found light.
They felt light, as a result of their behaviour.


Found poem - original text here.

NaPoWriMo *12th April 2011*

Removed for possible publication.

Bumper NaPoWriMo *4th - 11th April 2011*

Removed for possible publication.

NaPoWriMo update

Real life got in the way of the internets lately, so I've been scribbling my NaPoWriMos in a notebook. I'll post them as soon as I come home from work this afternoon.

NaPoWriMo *3rd April 2011*

Removed for possible publication.

NaPoWriMo *2nd April 2011*

Removed for possible publication.

NaPoWriMo *1st April 2011*

Haiku for Chi Chi

Learning the drag steps
In a dusty little town,
Win's Catwoman's praise.

When authors attack

Having enjoyed the recent meltdown of self-published author Jacqueline Howett, I found that this wasn't an isolated case. Author meltdowns happen not only to self-published or unknown writers, but big names too, like Anne Rice. Sometimes, like with Jacqueline Howett, the situation is funny; other times, like with Victoria Laurie and DeborahAnne MacGillivray, it gets a lot more serious. Laurie reported posters on Amazon thread to the FBI and MacGillivray allegedly hired a private detective to obtain names and addresses for a bad reviewer's family. Not good.

Laurie and MacGillivray both write romance novels, which I am not interested in, so I can't comment on how good or bad their writing actually is; never read and and never will. Howett's book, at least, may have sounded mildly interesting to some people; maybe something you'd have picked up to read the back of. Had The Greek Seaman been a printed book, and I had read the back, I'd have quickly put it back down again. The spelling and grammar of the back cover blurb make it very hard to read. From the Amazon page:
"Description to The Greek Seaman novel.

What is an eighteen year old newly wed doing traveling on a massive merchant ship anyways? Hadn’t she gone to Greece on tour in a ballet as a dancer? These are questions, Katy asks herself while traveling the high seas with Don her chief officer. However, little do they know a smuggling ring is also on board for this ride, on a blue diamond exchange and when explosions and threats to sink the ship also happen, they must try to save themselves.

Getting to know the smugglers, the Arabic and Pakistani deck hands and Don, the Greek Seaman is an exciting sea adventure with enough suspense and romance that will make you laugh and cry. It will take you on a voyage to experience the magnificent soothing wonders and beautiful scenery at sea, dolpins, flying fishes and takes you through storms and hurricanes where Katy finds herself navigating through it with a seasick crew. From Piraeus, Greece, your visit the ports of Lebanon and Libya and enjoy the exotic magic of the bazaar. The love between Don and Katy, in their ordeal at sea makes this a memorable story."

Description to The Greek Seaman novel? She makes a grammatical error on the second word that a reader will read before deciding to buy her book. That's just not good enough. When I read her first comments on Big Al's Books and Pals blog, I sniggered a little, but then got angrier and angrier as I read further down the comments. Some posters gave examples of poorly constructed sentences, such as:
"Don and Katy watched hypnotically Gino place more coffees out at another table with supreme balance."
and her response was: "...what I read above has no flaws. My writing is fine." I watched a YouTube video of her reading an extract of her novel, and I did feel sorry for her. When she reads it, it kind of makes more sense. She pauses, when reading, so the sentence is clearer, but neglects to insert commas into the written text. To me it seems that she is trying to write as she thinks an author should write. When speaking, one might say "Don and Katy watched Gino putting coffees down on another table" which doesn't sound particularly interesting, so she has tried to write it in an 'authorly' way - but it just doesn't work. If she had left well alone, none of this would have been emailed, tweeted or blogged by as many people as it has (me included!)
To the people who say that we should leave her alone, and that this is bullying, I say: no we shouldn't, and no it isn't. She started posting childish and defamatory replies which ended in her telling various posters to "Fuck off!" for that, she deserves everything she gets, and long may it continue. Other posters have pointed out that Al (of Big Al's Books and Pals) has grammatical errors on his own blog, and that he is a hypocrite. Tripe. Al does not charge people to read his blog, so he is entitled to write it however he wants to, bad grammar or no. He is not a hypocrite.

I feel very sorry for Rebecca Black, who some have compared to Howett. I don't think she should have been subjected to such vicious attacks - she's only a kid. Don't get me wrong, I think the song is utter shite, but it's no worse than many songs being played on the radio at the moment, by older, and supposedly wiser, artists.

I will continue to watch this train wreck to see what Howett does next. I think it's appalling that family members posted 5 star reviews on Amazon, and are continuing to do so. That's another reason she deserves all she gets.

Edited: I've been reading more and more blogs saying everyone should lay off Howett, or talking about dogpiles: "Seriously, it’s one thing to righteously smack someone down when they’re giving you a hard time. It’s another to join in on a dogpile. Dogpiles are for cowards and for fascists.
And it’s completely another if you’re a famous author with a million followers to feed that dogpile. For real, NEIL GAIMAN? I’m defending some poor crazy lady from NEIL GAIMAN?"
All Gaiman did was point at Howett's behaviour and say "don't do that". When someone suggests this to the blogger they respond "The more power you have, the more careful you have to be. I can write a whole couple of paragraphs trashing Neil Gaiman, and not have to worry that I’ve harmed him in any significant way; for someone with a million and a half readers, even pointing to something like this can constitute a kind of cruelty." I would agree with the blogger if Gaiman had written somethign horrible about this woman, but he didn't. He pointed at her on his Twitter page. People seem to forget, this is the internet. Everyone can look at it, and comment on anything on it, as much as they want. What Howett did was done on a public forum - it's like she came into a café where I was enjoying a coffee, and screamed in my face. If Gaiman wants to do the same thing, that's totally allowed. It's the internet. It's public. If you don't want to discuss yourself on a public forum, you make a choice not to go to that public forum and discuss yourself.

Man alive!

While England Sleeps

While England Sleeps by David Leavitt.
After reading the reviews of this book, and how gut-wrenching the ending was I thought I'd give it a go. I'd just re-read Forster's Maurice and was wanting a bit of a gay period story. Oh dear.
I know that it's possible to have a hateful protagonist, and for that to add to a book; but even horrible people need to grow, or at least go on some journey and be different at the end (even if they are still horrible). Brian Botsford does go on a journey, a literal one, and comes back the same. I was disappointed by the story. Upper-middle class writer briefly lives with a working class boy, treats him terribly, awfully, then realises he loves him. Kind of. Well, actually, no, "it would be twenty years until I even contemplated marriage between two men".
Part of why I didn't like it is the picture it paints of gay men. All gay men cheat, it seems to say; all gay men go cottaging, desperately. I'm gay and I do neither of those things. Alec Scudder didn't do those things, neither did Edward Phelan. What is Leavitt trying to say then? Upper class gays do? The story was a non-story, the main character didn't change all the way through.
I agree with other reviewers who say it's perfectly acceptable to have a villain as the protagonist, and to be able to enjoy that book or story - but I can't condone the way Brian treated Edward, his cowardice or lying, and worst of all: he learned nothing from his behaviour and its consequences, not even regret.
Read the book if you want to, there's lots of beautiful description in there, and there's no denying Leavitt is a good writer. Having read this, I doubt his storytelling abilities though. Every chapter ends with a wistful, forced image; much like a hollywood blockbuster: "I stopped being young", "Then the letter came", "As if it mattered. As if he weren't watching my every move".
The characters talk of Oscar Wilde, E.M. Forster, and it seems that Leavitt wanted this book to be a sort of Maurice or Wildean tale; it falls far short. It lacks the wit, tenderness and story that Forster or Wilde's works do.
I wish it had been great, I wish Brian Botsford hadn't been such a lazy, cowardly cheat; but it wasn't, and he was.

Cygnet 9

My first 3D animation - a test for Cygnet 9 (the escape pod for my film Jettisoned). Not bad for my second ever attempt at Blender.

Jettisoned

I'm finally getting round to making my film Jettisoned. I have scripts, plans, storyboards and even finished soundtracks to films I've conceived: Slow Descent (a zombie love story), Red (a retelling of Little Red Riding Hood with a serial killer cast as the big bad wolf), and my original idea for Jettisoned (three astronauts stuck in an escape pod, slowly going mad as they realise they are hurtling towards their inevitable deaths). I have the ideas, but not the time or funding to make them a reality.

I decided that all my ideas were way too grand, and that I needed a shorter idea to actually be able to see it through to the end product. I'm notoriously bad at finishing projects (bloody marvellous at starting them though!) and with Slow Descent and (original) Jettisoned, I have the soundtracks finished - and apart from conceptual art and storyboards - not much else. So with Jettisoned 2.0 I'm doing the difficult stuff first: CGI spaceship and filming. When that's done, I can get on to the stuff I know I can finish because it's what I enjoy most: editing, sound design and music. To keep the shoot short and as cost-free as possible, I'm also acting the main part. Patrick will act the other part (he doesn't know yet, but I'm sure he will do it - any excuse to show off). I have locations and costumes sorted, and am also in the middle of drawing the storyboards. I'm actually doing this the way films are supposed to be made, instead of arse-backwards like I normally do!

I'm even learning 3D modelling to make the escape pod. The premise of the story is this: young astronaut has been jettisoned from his Mothership, The White Swan, in the ninth and last escape pod, Cygnet 9 (a little nod to Plan 9 From Outer Space). The instruments and navicomputer go haywire and he finds that he is stuck on a collison course with a star. There's nothing he can do to change course, and as he realises he's going to die, he starts reminiscing about the relationship he left on Earth. His relationship with a handsome, bespectacled young man (Patrick) ended because he decided to go on this mission. The astronaut (haven't got a name for him yet) has flashbacks of different situations he was in with his boyfriend: walkign in the park, waking up in a tent, having a meal, having sex, reading newspapers in bed... lots of little, inconsequential things. Then he remembers arguing, shouting, and finally waking from hypersleep. Then Cygnet 9 plummets into the heart of a star.

It's quite sad really. But I have some great shots and music in mind, close-ups of light shining through his corneas, slow piano... beautiful. The hardest part will be the establishing shots of Cygnet 9. That's why I'm doing these first, I have to learn how to use a fantastic piece of 3D Modelling software, Blender. It's free and open source. Here its the website. Look how good it can be:



I've been watching lots of sci-fi films for inspiration: Star Wars, Moon, THX 1138, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Planet of the Apes...

The image at the top of the screen is my very first attempt at using Blender, not bad for a few hours work. I'm planning to have the film ready for June 23rd, my birthday. Wish me luck!

Five Variants of the Third Mode Melody by Thomas Tallis

My Christmas card for this year.

Five Variants of the Third Mode Melody is inspired by Ralph Vaughan Williams’ fantastic piece “Fantasia on a Theme by Thomas Tallis”, and was also based on Vaughan Williams’ own “Five Variants of Dives and Lazarus” - taking mediaeval music and making it relevant for the 21st Century (or 20th, in Vaughan Williams’ case).

Free to download here.

Plume slouch hat *free pattern*

Fits a head that is approximately 22.5 inches around (but is very stretchy, and fits smaller heads just fine) and is knitted flat and seamed afterwards. For a slouchier fit, change to a bigger needle size on the first row after the rib.

Tension: 4 inches = 11 sts in k1, p1 rib.

You will need:
5 mm needles
Chunky yarn (about 112 metres of Sirdar Click Chunky)

Pattern:

CO 62 sts.
K1, p1 rib for about an inch.

The next 2 rows are the set up rows. I’ve had some messages about how to do the first set up row, so I decided to write it all out to make it a bit easier to understand.

First set up row:
(RS) P1, k1, p2, k2, kf&b, k4, kf&b, k3, p2, k1, p2, k2, kf&b, k2, kf&b, k1, kf&b, k2, p2, kf&b, p1, k2, kf&b, k2, Kf&b, k1, kf&b, k2, p2, k1, p2, k2, kf&b, k4, kf&b, k3, p2. You should now have 73 sts.

Second set up row:
(WS) K2, *p13, [k5] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 4 sts, k4.

This means you K2, then p13, k5 three times, then p13 once. You should now have 4 sts left, k4.

Pattern starts here:

P1, k1b, p2, *k4tog, (YO, k1) 5times, YO, k4tog, [p2, k1b, p2[ repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2.
K2 *p13, [k5] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 4 sts, k4.
P1, k1b, p2, *k13, [p2, k1b, p2] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, to last 2 sts, p2.
K2 *p13, k5 repeat from * to last 4 sts, k4.
Repeat these 4 rows until piece measures about 6 or 7 inches in length (the longer it is, the slouchier it is).

Begin crown shaping (only 17 rows left):

1. P1, k1b, p2tog, *k4tog, (YO, k1) 5times, YO, k4tog, [p2tog, k1b, p2tog] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2. 66 sts on the needle.
2. K2 *p13, [k3] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 3 sts, k3. 66 sts.
3. P1, k1b, p1, *k2tog, k9, k2tog, [p1, k1b, p1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2. 58 sts.
4. K2 *p11, [k3] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 3 sts, k3. 58 sts.
5. P1, k1b, p1, *k3tog, YO, k2, YO, k1, YO, k2, YO, k3tog, [p1, k1b, p1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2. 58 sts.
6. K2 *p11, [k3] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 3 sts, k3. 58 sts.
7. P1, k1b, p1, *k11, [p1, k1b, p1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2. 58 sts.
8. K2 *p11, [k3] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 3 sts, k3. 58 sts.
9. P1, p2tog, *k3tog, k2tog, YO, k1, YO, k2tog, k3tog, [p3tog] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2. 35 sts.
10. K2 *p7, [k1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, k2. 35 sts.
11. P2 *k7, [p1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2. 35 sts
12. K2 *p7, [k1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, k2. 35 sts.
13. P2 *k3tog, YO, k1, YO, k3tog [p1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2. 27 sts
14. K2 *p5, [k1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, k2. 27 sts.
15. P2 *k2tog, k1, k2tog, [p1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, p2. 19 sts.
16. K2 *p3tog, [k1] repeat from * omitting between the [ ] on the 3rd repeat, to last 2 sts, k2. 11 sts
17. K1 *k2tog, repeat from * 5 times. 6 sts.

Cut a long tail, and using a sewing needle thread the yarn through the 6 sts and pull tight.
Seam and weave in ends.

Knit Club

This is a long overdue post. We decided to start 'Knit Club' in work as there were a few of us who knit. Only four members so far (Katharine wasn't in on the day we took this photo, and she doesn't like having her photo taken, but I will get her!) We're doing easy stuff to start off with, but we have big plans. The first one was held in an empty meeting room, but on the day I remembered my camera we had to use the chill out area of the office.
Members so far: Me, Gwenllian, Sarah and Katharine. Maybe not quite enough to take over the world, but enough to have fun and learn stuff from each other. I love knit club!

Gwenllian and Sarah knitting furiously.